Saturday, June 5, 2010

Shower like a Boy

There are some advantages to having no hair.

Showering with big hair that you want to keep dry is a challenge. You have to restrain it and clip it up in all kinds of ways just to get in and shower. Then you have to use a washcloth to daintily wash your face so you don't get your hair wet that way. It's just too much trouble when you get your hair wet, you have to start all over and pull out the blow dryer and the flat iron or the hot rollers.

Now I shower like a boy.

I get in and let the water pour down on my bald head. I let the shower spray me in the face just short of drowning. It feels damn good. I shower like a boy now. Me likey.

Getting ready takes a lot less time too. I'm getting quite proficient at the head scarf. Wrap, twist, wrap, tie. Bam. She's a done.

My goodness Grandmother, what big eyes you have. I never noticed with all that hair in my face how my eyes look like one of those Margaret Keane paintings. Look her up. Look at me next time you see me.

I can see everything now.

Except the future.

Almost 400 visitors to my blog, speak up people, who are you? Talk to me.

I registered my blog on a cancer site today, I hope some newbies will find me. I hope some further down the road will find me.

I am beginning to wonder if this full time job comes with vacation? Dang. It's hard to get away from it.

I am hoping to this week. I have no appointments, shots, labs, no nuthin no how until chemo again this Friday. Wow. I can't wait. I hope my side effects cooperate with my little plan to pretend this week I don't have cancer.

Can I find a way to step back into my old life, just for a few days?

What would I like to do? Eat thai food. Practice my putt. See a movie or two. Take a walk. Have a swim. Do some scrapbooking. Work on my second novel, chapter three. Re-plant the pots at my front door. Go for a ride and take some photos. Maybe I'll visit the Clydesdale's I love just on the outskirts of Sonoma. Visit with a friend or two or five. Eat some korean food. Go to Oakland's Chinatown and get some fresh baked pork buns at my secret dim sum place. Go to a salvage place in Berkeley. Play some piano. Write a new song. Start reading a new book, or re-read an old one. Make some cupcakes. I've been wanting to make some pink cupcakes with a little pink candy on top to look like booby cupcakes. Here, eat this. Clean out my closet. Organize some papers. Hand-write some letters.

Just the normal, simple, ordinary things that you do without even thinking about it when you are living a life you take for granted.

I can see everything now.

Except the future.

Oh geez, this song will kill you. Oleta Adams. Get Here.

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

You can reach me by sail boat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer


I need you closer.

I can see everything now.

Except the future.

Destination unknown.

Get here.

3 comments:

Paul said...

I think a good week is coming on. At least that is what I am hoping for you. Truth is none of us really knows what the future will bring but we do a darn good job convincing ourselves that we do. So here is to a future of hope and love. Love you.

masonmft said...

Hey Deb...that was me not Paul. Son don't you live somewhere else now?

writergirldreams said...

I certainly thought what a thoughtful message from your paully, sounding so grown-up and profound. Oh hi Ann, it's you.

That was funny.

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