Thursday, September 9, 2010

You Got To Funkafize

You ever listen to Tower of Power?  I've been inhaling Tower of Power as second hand smoke from Husband's love of them for years.

You got to funkafize...

What a funk I was in today.

Damn.

Some days positive attitude, will, optimism, faith and hope all go to hell in a hand basket.

Today was one of those days for me.

I got on my favorite cancer message board, and joined in a post of my sisters all centered on a rant about all the ways cancer sucks.

I was laughing and crying my ass off.

I'll tell you, some of the most difficult, tragic, challenging, soul crushing times makes for some of the funniest shit ever.

One of my favorite members, Laurie, who goes by the nickname "F bomber," had me on the floor saying she was sick of all the pink ribbon shit, and didn't want any more pink ribbon shit!

I mean my SIL gave me a freaking CHRISTMAS ornament with a pink ribbon on it! SERIOUSLY?? Like I am going to hang that f&%cker on my Christmas tree every year!!


I will tell you what folks, what a ride this is, one minute I'm like the damned Statue of Liberty, like a beacon trying to spread the word, and the next minute, sobbing and so overwhelmed.  I just keep taking it one day at a time, one minute at a time, doing the best I can.
 
It didn't help the phone call with my insurance company today, and the customer service rep who obviously didn't understand the concept was trying to be sympathetic and telling me to get the surgery and use the people I need and don't worry about the rest...
 
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE REST?  ARE YOU FREAKIN CRAZY MAN?
 
This dipstick was trying to tell me they can't tell me what they will pay until after the surgery has been performed and it has been billed.  WTF?
 
I had a meltdown and called Husband.  He is taking the lead on this one.
 
I am at this place now where it's all I can do to get my ass through the last bit of chemo.  Get my ass through the last bit of chemo and keep myself well leading into my surgery.
 
Today when I went to the lab to get my blood drawn, as I do every Thursday before chemo, sweet pretty Lab Lady was there to greet me.  She has this little anecdote hanging next to her chair of torture, with extra copies because so many people have asked for one.  Speaking of the chair of torture, I accidentally moved the arm on the chair today and locked myself in like I was sitting in a high chair.  We both laughed.  She said the kids can always figure out how to get out of the chair, and not the adults.  I pulled a lever and the arm ratcheted down.  Not that one.  I never did figure it out.
 
Anyway, here's a little sampling of the gem I took from the lab today, after she let me out of the chair and sent me off with a hug.
 
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.  He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest.
 
Here is what the kids came up with:
 
Better to be safe than..................................................................punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the...........................................................................bug is close.
You can lead a horse to water....................................................but how?
Don't bite the hand that.............................................................looks dirty.
You can't teach an old dog........................................................math.
If you lie down with dogs you...................................................will stink in the morning.
An idle mind is..........................................................................the best way to relax.
A penny saved is.......................................................................not much.
When the blind lead the blind..................................................get out of the way.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.  Cry and..........you have to blow your nose.
 
I am going to blow my nose and relax with an idle mind.
 
Wish me luck leading that horse to water.
 
But how?

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