Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Reluctant Maid of Honor, Do Boobs Come with that Dress?

I have a huge something to look forward to, when Midge gets married later this summer.  I'm da Maid of Honor.

You ever try to find a lovely dress to wear to such an important occasion as this, at the same time you are adjusting to a body you no longer recognize?

You ever try to get boobies that are more like pita breads to mind and do something in a bra, other than lay there like flattened little steamrolled former fat bunnies?

You ever try to conceal a Pooh bear tummy when there are no boobies to draw attention away from the rumbly tumbly?

You ever try to style straight straw like newborn chemo hair that is more uncooperative than a toddler in a grocery store, and has come in more gray than the old mare?

I was trying on some clothes in Penney's yesterday, after returning slippers I bought Husband for Christmas because I found some I liked better at Kohl's.

I found many tempting things, on racks that said 80% off, but when I got in the dressing room and tried each one on, I was like "Are you kidding?"

Yesterday at breakfast, one of my Sisters said "It's either the wig or the boobs, I can't do both at the same time..."

I wear no bra cause these things are more like chicken scallopini, they have no dimension.  Now I think my wigs make me look like Snookie.  Holy crap, Snookie just made it into my blog.

It's a real paradox to be as self conscious about my body as I have ever been in my life, at the same time as discovering an appreciation of myself that is like reuniting with a beloved lost friend.

Can't I be an amazing woman making a difference and doing good in the world (thank you Jill),

and be hot too?

Is that too much to ask?

Is it a sin to pray for a dress that looks good on me?  Never mind.  I better save all my favors.

I might need to call them all in someday.

You pray for me.

6 comments:

rochambeau said...

Dearest Lovely Writer Girl,
I love you for your honesty! For your strength, for your willingness to share how it really feels to go through the process of healing.
The other day, the program "Being" was on. Here is a quote that might resonate with you today.

Love after Love

The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your won mirror and each will smile at the others welcome,and say sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott.

The link below is where I found the quote.

http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/popup.php?name=being/programs/2011/01/25/20110127_opening_to_our_lives_128

Love,
Constance

writergirldreams said...

Awaking so hungry for love and reassurance, you came and fed me Constance. I devoured every bite and might still have frosting on my chin from the red velvet cupcake that is you. Thank you, and for the material to use in my blog too, what a quote!! much love, wgd

Lori said...

You write with such internal power and yet with a sense of humour as well! I think if you wear a potato sack the bride is blessed to have you as your attendant! I wish you the very best! Your an inspiration! Lori

Tammie Lee said...

you are quite gifted at writing. I know it is a true tale, but you have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. I can only see you as inspiring to others that are going through similar things. I love the headdress you are wearing in your profile image.... your lovely face glows with it. As for a dress, my sense is you will find one.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sweet Lady ~
You will look absolutely "beautiful" in whatever dress you decide to wear. We'll have a great time, especially at the reception. You can drink, can't you? A little wine can go a long way ... lol
xoxox

Heather said...

Oh My, I will pray for you to have a FAB-u-lous dress!! And I don't think it is selfish to ask for a dress that makes you look smokin' hot! Your DESERVE it..it is a tiny little favor in the scheme of things..a little reward for being such a good fighter! And your beautiful - so it won't be hard to find the right dress for you! Go get some "chicken cutlets" from VS (fake boobies) and make it work for you! :)
XOXO ~ Heather

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