Tuesday, March 29, 2011

If You Give Somebody a Piece of Your Mind, Are They Supposed to Give It Back?

I got the phone call I was waiting for, from the surgical coordinator for the good Dr.  As it turns out, this lady is also the Office Manager.

She had no idea what she was in for when she called today, but was absolutely clear on the concept by the  time our conversation was over.  If you've ever wanted to vent and beat a dead horse, but did not have the opportunity, I took care of all of us today.  And it felt good.  Real good.

I am scheduled for my hysteroscopy next Monday, and must report to the hospital at 5:30 a.m.  The procedure is scheduled for 7:30 a.m., and will last about an hour.  Thank goodness I will be out when they inflate my uterus like a little puffer fish, take a poke around and some deep sea photos, and bring back a couple of specimens from deep deep in the heart of ...

Speaking of Texas, hello there Sister, you did it!  Made it through your first chemo today!  Take good good care of you and tell Judy and all those church ladies to keep the food coming.

So I have the surgical biopsy next Monday, and then the following Monday is my follow-up and hopefully the pathology results will be in.  In other words, I still have just about two more weeks of waiting before I get an answer about what's the deal with Muffy.

Let me tell you.  I don't plan on spending it the way I did the last two weeks.  This is some of what I learned.

Worry don't change shit.
Do not have any caffeine when all the what ifs running crazy in your brain are already providing more adrenaline than ten Red Bulls drank like shots.
Get exercise, walk, get out, get in nature.
Every day offers gifts, so even when you feel really really scared and have all the doors and windows locked and bolted, you have to find a way to be open enough for the good.  Don't lock out the good.  Don't miss the good because you are so focused on the bad that may never happen.
Keep your brain busy, by keeping your hands busy, doing something that requires focus and attention, like knitting or cooking or painting or playing the piano.
Limbo is not forever, although very uncomfortable during its short life.
Say what you mean.  Mean what you say.  Ask for what you need.  Ask again.  Ask again.  Ask again.

Can you believe that after all of this is over, I still have my first colonoscopy to look forward to?

Oy vay.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You give em heck girl! Know the feeling about th Drs office. Monday I had an appt, they called me last week to move it to 8:am instead of 9 so they could schedule a new patient, ok . When I get there, 1 other patient is there , for too. Hmm, I end up in the siting room till 8:30and see the dr at 845, so why didn't you just ask me to come me at 8:30, aarrggh!
Hang in there sweetie, praying for you,
Laurie

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