Thursday, May 5, 2011

Have Mercy

I had a little meltdown at work last night, at the end of my shift.  I was in the office, turning in my paperwork, talking to my Manager about my schedule and realizing my limitations and adjusting to being back at work.

You ever see the Playhouse Disney show called "Bear in the Big Blue House."  That's who this Manager reminds me of, the Big Bear.  He is tall and large and very much a gentle giant.

"I'm not returning as the same person I was when I left..." and that's when the tears started to flow.  He looked at me with a sad face and stood to give me a hug, and asked what he could do.

I've been really emotional lately, processing and accepting this me.

You remember one of my favorite sayings about "When God closes a door, He opens a window, but it's hell in the hallway."  I first read that years ago, it's a little hand painted sign that hangs in my Sister-in-law's kitchen.

I am in the hallway now.

Transitioning towards the open door, which I can't see yet.

I can still see my old self, behind the closed door.
I've had my moments weeping at the closed door.
I guess that's what happened last night.

I know good things are coming.
I know there is a plan for me.
I know I am on the threshold of a very different life.

I know God dreams bigger for me than I could ever imagine.

I have faith.

Um, God?
Just between You and me,
You think You could make this one
a short hallway?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Sweet Lady ~
I pray He skips the hallway and just shows you the open window! Stay strong Sweetie. Hugs and Kisses xoxox

Mollye said...

Glad you have such a sweet manager. Happy Mother's Day.

fosteringcare said...

Your transparency inspires me. I love ya!!!

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