Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Memorize This

Just a few days left, till the one year anniversary of my blog.  I haven't yet made any decisions about what happens after that.  Talking to you has become a daily practice, and part of my routine before bed.  I think I would feel lost without you.  On da other hand baby, I will have completed my goal, and I'm ready to stop giving breast cancer and cancer treatment such a prominent place in my life.

There's something I keep thinking about regarding this cancer thing.  I think this is especially important for the sweet newbies.  It seems to me that unless you are positive for the breast cancer gene, they really don't know why the rest of us got it.  They throw around all kinds of what ifs, but the truth is, they don't conclusively know.

It's easy when something like this happens to you, to spend way too much time stuck in asking why.

The truth is, you will never know, and you will make yourself crazy searching for answers that will never be revealed to you.

Save yourself the suffering.
Leave that place where you cry for the why.
You'll be crying a long long time baby if you stay there, and still have no answers in your hand.
Step through the threshold.
Accept what is.
Embrace the possibilities.
Ask for what you need.
Believe that help is on the way.
Help someone else who needs help.
Let go of what you cannot control.
Control the only thing you can, your reply.

This is not heaven, although there are heavenly moments.
This place is about birth and death.
Be ready to be born and die a thousand times.
Let go of why.

Memorize this.
Yes.

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