Monday, March 18, 2013

I am. This day.

God said I am.

Not I was.

Not I'm gonna be.

I AM.

THIS is the day the Lord has made.

THIS DAY.

Hmmmm.  Blond brain at work here.

I AM.

THIS DAY.

Not yesterday.

Not tomorrow.

Right now.

This moment.

You got it?

Amen.

Friday, March 15, 2013

I Surrender

There is always so much to pray about, friends and family whose hearts are burdened in dark valleys looking for answers and God's comfort and a way out.  Isaiah 65:24 Before they call I will answer, while they are yet speaking I will hear.


In addition to my Bible and other current reading, there is a little book I keep on my nightstand,






I read it every evening before bed, and then look up the Bible verses she references.  The way Sarah Young has written each daily devotional, it's as if Jesus is speaking directly to me, like the loving Father Redeemer Healer Counselor he is.  It's so comforting and reassuring.  (Hello my Midgey Midge, don't go buy this, I already bought one for you and will mail it, kiss kiss)


For those following Cara's story, she recently marked the milestone of her one year "cancerversary" as we call it in the business, one year out from diagnosis and a year of the wild roller coaster that is leukemia treatment.  We are grateful and praise God that Cara is in remission, but her treatment continues and has been full of very challenging side effects and collateral damage.  Most recently she suffered a bout of shingles and was back in her old stomping grounds at UCSF for a week.  She is home again now, and I know her beloved at-home nurse and furry angel is very happy to have her home.


Cara and Sunny

My son Adam aka Batman and his girl, Cara
Your continued prayers for Cara and her complete healing and recovery are most needed and appreciated.  I'm sure God has had His hand on this sweet girl; her smile and spirit and courage and sense of humor have touched so many people.  Even those of us who already really loved her.  She is a real warrior, just doing what she has to do.

I love you Cara, it won't always be like this Hon, it will get better and better!

I had a wonderful surprise message from Angel B, remember her?  Her name is Becca, and she and Alaina aka Angel A, both from Novato High, made a pink ribbon blanket for a cancer patient, which ended up being me!  I was blessed to meet these girls in person when I surprised them for a visit at their school.

Alaina and Becca, making my blanket
Becca has a friend named Amanda, another teenager diagnosed with cancer.  Will you join me in prayer for Amanda?  And for Becca too, whose love and concern for her friend inspired her to contact me.

After a cancer diagnosis, you feel as if when people look at you, this big letter 'C' is branded on you like the scarlet letter.  What is it we want from you, you blessed Muggles who are cancer free?  We know you can't fix this, we know we have to do this on our own, and there really are no words to take away all the fear and grief and uncertainty we feel.  We just want to feel normal, we want to feel your love and quiet presence, and we really need your prayers.  Those are really the best words you can give to us, your constant prayers lifting us up to the one True Healer.

I am about a month away from my upcoming reconstruction surgery, and I'll admit to you, the closer it gets, the more I am dreading it.  I am praying hard every day for God's peace and comfort and strength.  My courage ain't what it used to be, but I know for sure, this is a necessary passage of graduating from Cancer Camp.



I seem to be getting stuck in my head, revisiting the hard parts, and sometimes I still grieve for what I went through, what I lost, and for a body that still is so foreign to me.  I pray that God will strengthen my resolve, keep me hopeful and trusting, and give me the physical strength to endure a long surgery and several days in ICU.  I'd much rather be going to a different kind of Club Med, but I'm blessed that the Club Med I'll be going to is Stanford University.

Will you pray for me, that my fear and dread will be replaced with trust and faithfulness and I'll find my courage again?  I seem to have lost it.

Little Muff, Big World
On our walks together, I'm walking Muff, and God is walking me.  The world and my head can be so noisy.  I go to my peaceful places so I can hear His whisper, and get rest in His presence.

John 16:33  I give you peace, knowing I have overcome the world.
Thank you Lord, for all the times I call out to You, and You answer with a "there there now Little Debbie."

Thank you Lord.



I surrender to you Jesus, every worry, every fear, every problem, every heartache, every ouch, every thing that does not serve You.  I surrender to you, and open myself to Your perfect plan to take all this mess of my sacred ordinary and turn it into Your glory.

I pray
when others see me,
they'll
see
You.


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