Friday, May 21, 2010

We Can Take Forever Just a Minute at a Time

Hold on, I'll be right with you. I've got this song stuck in my head.

Here in your arms I found my paradise
my only chance for happiness
and if I lose you now
I think i would die

Oh say you'll always be my baby
We can make it shine
We can take forever
just a minute at a time

More than a woman
More than a woman to me

Bee Gees

Ok I'm back.

Today started as a good day. I got dressed. I looked cute. I still have hair to put in hot rollers. That makes me happy. One more day I still have hair. I will miss my fluffy bed head mess.

Drove myself to see The Good Witch. You should have seen her today; looking fabby of course. She had on this great black outfit with a big leather hip belt. Remember that Prince song "You've got the look."

shor-nuff do be cooking
in my book
your face is jammin'
your body's heck-a-slammin

That's my doctor people.

Anyway, oh wait, let me back up. There is a nurse in her office. Her name is Vonda. She is one of my doctor's staff. She is so great. I just can't tell you what a difference it makes in your life when you are going through this brutal cancer shit, and you have people treat you with kindness, respect, compassion and affection. I am already very fond of Vonda. She has an adorable way about her and whatever tension I am feeling, she lowers my blood pressure as soon as she smiles at me. Thank you Vonda.

So my fabulous doctor, we talked about my first week. Generally pretty good except for the potty problem, vertigo, and my port hurting. Today is my first day though that my port is feeling much better. It seems to finally be settling down. When she examined me she was noticing that my evil spot on Flopsy seemed softer. I've been feeling it tonight, I think it is. Is that the chemo at work already? I hope so. It was a good visit. Told her about this blog. Hello doctor if you found your way in.

Had a late breakfast with my dear friend, she is right on time for me. When I made a job change a year and a half ago, I thought it was just cause I needed a change. Now I think it was so that all these angels could be around me, more hands to hold through this. I miss my work people so much. So so much.

I am listening to my ipod, it is shuffling through songs. Autumn in New York, Frank Sinatra, just played. You have to listen to this song. Wow. Some people think Rosemary Clooney's version is better. Hello Senator. I don't know, I think Frank has it for me.

It just shuffled to the next song, Van Morrison, Into the Mystic. I can't listen to this one lately, makes me cry. Hold on, I gotta skip it to the next song.

There that's better. Imogen Heap, Between Sheets.

you and me between sheets
it just doesn't get better than this

Find these songs people. Listen to them.

Where was I? Angels. All around me. Good day.

Good day leading into more vertigo and terrible lower back pain. WTH? I don't know. Is this just me coming off Vicodin? Is this my neupogen shots? What is going on?

Can barely type this. Thank gosh I got this little netbook free from comcast when we switched all our stuff to them. Thank gosh for this little netbook. I can write from bed. That's where I am now. Laying on a heating pad, knees up, netbook on my knees, dressed in a sports bra and jammy shorts. Making so many typos. I would normally have an apron on at this time of night, loosening my tie, counting my money, buffing glasses. That life seems so far away now. So far away. I miss it. Did I mention I miss my people?

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. Tonight's trivia question. Who sang that?

I haven't played the piano in a couple of weeks. Gonna get rusty.

Feeling awful rusty tonight.

You ever listen to Erykah Badu? Listen to the live version of "Other side of the game." What an original singer and writer.

I don't have a clever closing tonight folks. Thanks for reading.

You are reading, aren't you?

Oh man, Pretty Wings by Maxwell just came on.

Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I'll always love ya
I hope you feel the same.

If I can't have you
Let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings around

Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your
Pretty wings, your Pretty wings around


Unknown said...

Hi ya Chicklet, we are reading and we work
people are missing you like crazy. It's not
the same Celadon without that loud made you
smile laugh of yours. We have two new guy
servers. One already noticed how Sergio gets
away with no side work and when I told Serg he laughed. Steve is settling in as big man on campus using his "I'm a mgr now so I don't do buffing" as his newest excuse to get out of working. Love ya, thinking of you,
miss you. Yulie

masonmft said...

I am reading. Usually a day late and many dollars short but I am a readin. That fancy Dr Lady got anything in her bag to make you and me taller so we can wear fabulous hip belts. Just a daydream. Love You

Donna M said...

Voice? You have voice big time, sweetie. And heart, and humor, and (shall I keep going?) an incredible talent for beautiful, intimate, and really real writing. You keep writing and we'll keep reading...promise.

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