Friday, June 18, 2010

Dare I Say It? Miraculous.

So on the off weeks I don't have chemo, I get to meet with The Good Witch.  I knew we would talk more about my PET scan and I had a few questions.  I didn't make it to far into our discussion, which I always look forward to, when I found myself all teary and could hardly talk.  Geez.  She looked worried.  We talked through it, I kept saying it sure feels like I'm going to get my period, cause I'm alternately weepy and cranky, my boobs are so tender and sore, and I've just generally got the blues.

"Welcome to Menopause" was the jist of her sympathetic reply and she reassured me again I would probably not have any more periods.  This is one of the hardest things about breast cancer she remarked, that at the same time you are dealing with the cancer, you are also being thrown into menopause.

Then we got to my PET scan, which as you remember she emailed me a brief sentence or two about my results, basically that there were no other signs of cancer in the body.

Wait till you hear this.

Upon further review of the report, it was noted that there was no glow in Flopsy.

I repeat, no glow in Flopsy.

There should have been a glow in Flopsy like a searchlight at a movie premiere, but there was no glow.  No uptake they call it.

The Good Witch said that after only two chemo treatments this was remarkable and astounding.

No glow in Flopsy.

What does that mean you say?

The PET scan reveals what is happening in the body on a molecular level.  That's why when there are active living cancer cells present, they absorb the radioactive sugar like PACMAN munching down pac dots.  Those "hot spots" glow and signal their presence in a big way.

Although my tumor is still present, there was absolutely no glow, no living cancer cells, just a dead mass.

Dare I say it?

This is miraculous to me, and obviously really really surprised my doctor.

I still don't quite know what to make of it, and it reminds me of those stories where someone asks God for a miracle, and even when the miracle is so obvious, we still don't believe and ask for more.

All I know is Flopsy should have been lit up like a sparkler on the 4th of July, and there was nothing.



With all my heart, I can only believe that this is because of you.

All the love and all the prayers, the times you said my name out loud and whispered it too, the times you thought and sent good thoughts for me, and asked for healing and grace and miracles on my behalf, have altered the course of things.

Like the butterfly effect changing the weather, your prayers and wishes for me have changed the course of things, on a molecular level.

No glow in Flopsy.


Oh and by the way, I got my period today.

She ain't going down without a fight.

Is it too late for me to have another baby? 

Yeah I know, now I'm getting greedy.


masonmft said...

Wish I was sleeping on your couch tonight. We could be practicing the Samba to celebrate. Instead you get Bill, who is cute but not so into the Samba. I will keep whispering your name. Love You!

kim said...

WOW!!! That is such great news! I will keep you in my thoughts.

Naniglenda said...

Our God is a miracle working God, I will continue to lift you up in prayer. P.S. Did you by chance get my comment yesterday???? Don't know if I did it right!!! Glenda, friend of Kim C.

writergirldreams said...

yes yes yes I am getting the comments, the thing is, depending on which post you are reading, that is where your comment will be posted. Sometimes people make a current comment but on an old post and so that's where the comment shows up.

These comments floor me, I am bawling when I read most of them. You just don't have any idea of the power of your love and faith and what it is doing for me.

You just don't know.

thank you thank you thank you.

big big hugs and love, wgd

Unknown said...

Luv you and I am soooo happy for you. I will keep you in my thoughts.

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