Monday, June 21, 2010

Showing Up

Most nights when I sit down on my bed to write, I'm not sure what to write about.  The title box and post box look so empty.  Did you know it stays empty if you don't touch the keyboard? Often the day's events are on my mind, and I start typing.  I have a general idea what I'd like to talk about, but it's a scavenger hunt collecting clues not knowing where I'll end up.  I just keep going and I know when I'm there, and often, it's a surprise.

That's the magical part.

You might think I knew where I was going all along.  I didn't.  I don't draft these on paper or make notes or anything.

I just show up and put my hands on the keyboard and wait.

Some nights, like tonight, I show up and put my hands down, ready to go, pinkie of the left hand on the "A" and pointer finger on the "F."  My right hand has the pointer on the "J" and the pinkie on the colon/semi-colon.

I look down.  Yes, fingers are in position, thumbs are ready to jump in.  Ok, let's go.

and let's go...

I said let's go...

Woody Allen said something like 80% of life is just showing up.

Sometimes you show up and nothing magical happens, except the train horn I hear right now.  It's the Amtrak across the strait from where I live.  Who are those people?  Where are they going?  I will never know, but I do know this.  They are on a train because they showed up.

Sometimes it's not about what you do or what you say.  It's about showing up.

Your whereabouts are accounted for because you are here or there because you showed up.

You don't always have something profound to say or late breaking news.  You just showed up.

I remember the looks on my kids faces, the times when I, or their Dad and I just showed up.  Especially at their school, when they did not expect it.  There is an exchange without words that happens when you show up and someone sees you are there.

Sometimes you show up with a little text message that simply says "Hi" or "Thinking about you" or "Hey there."

Sometimes you knock on the door and it opens and you are standing there.

Sometimes you show up even though you are hurt or angry or sad or confused or scared.

Sometimes you don't know what you'll say.  You just show up.

Sometimes you stay stuck and so you don't show up.

You let your fear shape you, or your anger, or your expectations, or your assumptions, or your ego.  You stay stuck and you don't show up.

You talk yourself out of it, knowing you should have shown up.

I think 100% of a meaningful, present life starts with showing up.

I think 100% of loving the people we love starts with showing up.

I think 100% of the creative process always starts with showing up.

I did not realize I would be doing so much math tonight, throwing all these percentages around.

I did not have much to say tonight.

I know, despite this, you are glad I came.

I showed up, just like I said I would.

Do that tomorrow.  Show up somewhere you have been absent.  Show up somewhere someone has been looking for you.  Show up somewhere you have let your fear or anger keep you from showing up.

Just show up.

It's ok, don't be afraid, even if you don't know what to say.

Just show up.

You can't ride the train unless you show up.

Oh dear, did I mention you also have to show up on time?

So get a watch.

1 comment:

kim said...

I'll keep showing up. I love your writing and I love you!

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