Thursday, July 22, 2010

Snow White With Cancer Sentenced to Anger Management

You are awful quiet out there.  You've been kinda quiet since I started posting angry.  Maybe I am connecting dots that don't connect because my nature is to connect dots.  I don't blame you.  I might be a little scared myself of menopausal Scorpio with cancer.  Yikes.

My nephew Wolfie texted asking how am I?  Told him better physically but working through some anger stuff.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  Told him the "f" bomb has become a personal favorite lately.

He texts back "Well, I  f#*k$%g  LOVE you!"

Thank you honey.  Sheesh I have my nephew cursing like a sailor.

Ok I know tomorrow my doctor will say no how no way, but I feel another period coming on.  This thing just won't go down without a donkey kickin baby got back fight.  There is this other worldliness that comes over me, you ever feel it just prior to?  Just a little too weepy, just a little too quick to react, just a little too close to the edge, and ready to howl at the moon.

If I had lived during the Victorian era, I surely would have been diagnosed with "hysteria" and goodness knows what contraption would have been used to cure me.

Female hysteria was a once-common medical diagnosis, made exclusively in women, which is today no longer recognized by modern medical authorities as a medical disorder. Its diagnosis and treatment were routine for many hundreds of years in Western Europe. Hysteria was widely discussed in the medical literature of the Victorian era. Women considered to be suffering from it exhibited a wide array of symptoms including faintness, nervousness, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in abdomen, muscle spasm, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and "a tendency to cause trouble.    From Wikipedia

Let's see, faintness?  Only watching Kevin Costner in Bull Durham and The Bodyguard.
Nervousness.  Check.
Insomnia.  Double Check.
Fluid Retention.  Are you effing kidding me?
Heaviness in abdomen?  Muffin top, check.
Muscle spasm?  Only my tongue muscle ready to unfurl and taser any stupid man.
Shortness of breath?  Refer to faintness.
Irritability?  If you say one more time I sound cranky or I hear one more tape of Mel Gibson, refer to muscle spasm.
Loss of appetite for food?  Only that which I have cooked.
Loss of appetite for sex?  No available candidates due to muscle spasm.

and a tendency to cause trouble?

Double Check.
Check Mate.
Game Over.
I win.

Any questions?


Shell said...

Hysteria is kind of a perfect description for it... Thanks Wiki and Deb

Donna M said...

Hysteria? Whatever it is, it sure supercharged your Muse! Your creativity in giving all this to us continues to amaze. Gracias, mi amiga. (And I can't comment when reading on iPad...some freaky incompatibility thing. Sorry. Will comment more from laptop. We're here even if we're technology challenged!)

writergirldreams said...

Hello Ladies, thanks for checking in. I was getting a little worried I was scaring everybody. Boo!

Hi Shell. Hug. I miss your face.

Hi Donna. Thank you girl. I miss your "bread and dough" comments, and your face too.

I am doing my best to MacGyver this evil into good. I will be using everything I've got.

You have no idea.

Thanks for still showing up for me.

It means the world to this girl.

Donna M said...

Having hysterectomy Aug 3 for uterine luck finding mumu style recovery clothing that isn't going to make me, short person, look like a 92 year old granny. Zip up robes...they're all pink and smarmy. What are they thinking? I gave up and am going for softest of the soft, regardless of the old lady styling. As I get ready for this, I'm acutely aware that my issues are a literal drop in the bucket compared to yours... Also gives me a gigantically greater respect for your strength and perserverance--and know what? Be angry if you want to be. Better out than in...I can't help but think it does more harm if bottled up. So you go ahead and tell us--we're here to hear it and hope this helps it go on its way or do whatever job it needs to do.

writergirldreams said...

Aw Donna, hug hug. Thank you for telling me. You make me feel normal. Everyone has been so protective of me not telling me their stuff anymore. Thank you Donna, I am sorry you are having to do that, I was likely heading in that direction for the same reason but my breast cancer arrived and took center stage. Thank you for telling me.

Um, Donna? I am wearing a pink and smarmy zip-up terry cloth robe right now. I swear to God. It has little embroidered flip flops on it and rick-rack on the collar. You would absolutely hate it but girl, its so cute and comfy.

Let me tell you, nobody's stuff is a drop in the bucket compared to mine. Everybody's stuff is stuff. Thank you tremendously for sharing yours.

Hang in there girl! Take good care of yourself and good luck with the wardrobe.

big hug, deb

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