Monday, August 23, 2010

Fairy Princesses and The Powers of Darkness

Victory in struggle with the powers of darkness is the true baptism into the glorious company of heroes, the true initiation into the overmastering beauty of human existence.  From that awful encounter of the soul with the outer world, emancipation, wisdom, and charity are born, and with their birth a new life begins.  Bertrand Russell, A Free Man's Worship

So how was your day?  Do anything exciting?  Struggle with the powers of darkness?

Monday seems to be my tired day, I guess all those hours awake over the weekend on my decadron high finally settle on me like a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate.  Mellow Mondays.  Pooped puppy.

I saw the twin princesses yesterday, like little creatures from some other world.  So fragile and delicate and beautiful, and I don't think I've ever seen the Cowgirl glow like that.  I held one and stared at her sweet face in slumber, so mesmerized and then I'd look up and see her Mama holding the other and feel the shock all over again.  There are two.  Two of these.  Two.

It was wonderful.  Like a dream but it was real and so are they.  I rocked a wish and a prayer in my arms, but it was real now, and wore a striped beanie and jammies that covered the tiniest of hands like oven mitts.

Makes you think.  Makes you think about a lot of things when you see a miracle up close like that.  Seems like forever ago Batman and Robin were tiny like that, but I haven't forgotten.  I used to miss their baby selves terribly, missed having a baby in the house.  For a long time, I regretted I didn't have more children.  Holding those little girls yesterday, I left thankful that I am where I am in my life, that my boys are the age they are, and now, I get to work on me.  Evidently, right on time, cause I apparently need lots of work.

I only have a couple of months left in this cocoon of my old life and my old body.  Pretty soon here the new me will emerge, wings all wet, ready to unfurl and make my entrance.  I take that back, there won't be any unfurling for several weeks.  This year, I won't need a Halloween costume cause I'll still be wrapped up like a Mummy and walking hunched and stiff like one too.   The unfurling will take place later.

Won't need Christmas lights this year either, just put my glowing radiated self out on the front porch, drape some garland on me, and place a big red poinsettia on top of my fuzzy head.

Summer is ending, and with it, winding down a passage in my life in this body.

I am not so good with change either Vonda, but what's a girl to do?  You have to go with the flow, let go of what is going, close your eyes and

Believe in what is on its way.

No peeking.

We can hold hands though.



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