Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Off To See the Wizard

Yesterday was my final meeting with The Wizard, prior to my surgery next Tuesday.  Husband and I didn't wait long to be called in, and his assistant asked me to get undressed so he could examine me.

Gosh I hate those paper vests at the doctor's office.  Most of the time they rip, either when you are trying to open it up or try to get it on.  Annoying.  I can't get them to fit around my girls.  I usually find myself, sitting on the edge of the exam table, trying to hold closed the tissue paper and feeling like a child, a little shy, a little scared.

The Wizard came into the room and made his greetings.  I felt immediately relieved and at ease.  He has a way about him (will you just relax, everything will be ok).

"I didn't wear my wig today, because I wanted you to see me how I really am.  I was afraid you'd come into surgery and say 'Who is this Lady with the Easter chick fuzz?' "

"I know who you are, with or without your wig!" and he patted me and gave a big smile.  I think he gets a kick out of me.  I know I sure do out of him.

He started out with an overview of what will happen during the surgery.  I will be under general anesthesia while he makes an incision under each breast, removing all of the breast tissue inside.  He will leave both nipples for now.  If the pathology comes back later that there is a problem with the tissue that was directly underneath Flopsy's nipple, it can be removed later.  He will also try to use the scar from my sentinel node biopsy to do a partial axillary node dissection.  The whole surgery should take him two to three hours, and I will be staying the night since my surgery is not scheduled until 12:30 p.m. on the 26th.

We chatted a bit and then he was ready to examine me.  First he listened to me breathe, front and back.  Then I laid down on the table, opened my paper gown, raised my left arm, and prepared for the rigorous exam of Flopsy I knew was coming.

He jumped right in, once again kneading, squeezing, making circles in my skin and soon started exclaiming "Oh this is good, this feels very good, I am very happy about this!!!"

I always wonder how Husband feels, sitting there in a chair next to me in the exam room, as another man, albeit surgeon, gets very excited feeling up every inch of my boobies and armpits.

I know I have never gotten used to it, all the people, mostly men with the exception of The Good Witch, feeling me up.

After awhile, you get the modesty of a stripper.  "Ok here you go, here they are."

The Wizard then examined Mopsy, not as energetically but gave her her due.  The Wizard patted me and said "You have had an excellent response to chemo and I am very happy about this."

He sat back down on his little stool on wheels, and I sat up, legs dangling off the table.  He reviewed that he would be trying to save Flopsy's nipple, depending on what he saw in surgery.  He reiterated the nipple would have to be removed later if cancer cells were found in the tissue that used to be directly underneath it.

We chatted for awhile longer, I had a few more questions.  I feel very fortunate to have him as my surgeon.  I feel reassured just seeing him and talking to him.  He wrote me orders for blood tests and an EKG, which I needed to do after leaving his office and before going home.

One of my questions was would I need tissue expanders?  These are an implant that is left in place to "hold the spot" until reconstruction.  I couldn't recall True North mentioning I would need them, but so much of what I read about delayed reconstruction talked about the use of them.

He seemed surprised and said no, he was not going to put them in, and had I discussed this with True North?  He said if I did need them, we would have to move things around on the calendar.

He asked me to check with her, and he would too.  [I did send her an email, and she replied I would not need the expanders put in; he had called her as well.]

He said I would be staying the night, and we'd check how I was doing the next day before he'd decide if he wanted me to stay another night.

We wrapped up the appointment, and went to complete my pre-op stuff.  For as busy as this large hospital is, we got in and out quickly.

I'm all set.

This time next Tuesday I will be laying in my hospital bed, boobless, high, and probably craving Chinese food.

For all these weeks I wanted time to fly by, up until tonight.

Now that it's only one week away, part of me wants to just get there, get her done!   Cut this bitch out of me!

Another huge part of me wants everything to slow way down, while I wait and hide inside this chrysalis, before it's time for Flopsy and Mopsy to go.

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