Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Gratitude and The Smallest Angel

We have traditions at our Thanksgiving table, as all families do.  We drink Martinelli's sparkling cider, and make pumpkin bread from my Mom's recipe, and fill our plates with roasted turkey and mashed potatoes, yams with marshmallows, and Grandma Ginny's creamed corn.  We always start dinner by having each person at the table say what they are thankful for.

My cornucopia overflows this year.

I am abundantly grateful and humbled and breathless for the outpouring of love and support that has come to me during the biggest challenge of my life, for my life.

Angels have arrived all along this path to love me, make me laugh, kick my ass, hug me, heal me, and carry me.  I've received cards and handwritten letters, presents and comments on my blog, hugs in the grocery store, and text messages late at night reminding me I am missed at work.

There were moments over these last months that were harder tests than I have ever faced, but not as many as the moments where my spirit soared in the assurance of God's love for me, and yours too.

As I do every year in this season of my birthday then Thanksgiving, I reflect on what I am grateful for.  This year, my thoughts replay going to the high school for the Relay for Life evening ceremonies, to see the lighting of the luminaries for those facing cancer, or in memory of those we lost.  It was amazing and humbling, inspiring and comforting, peaceful and sad, to walk the track and see all the flickering lights, including the ones for me and my Mom, side by side.

I've been thinking a lot about the luminary of that three year old little boy I told you about in my blog post about the Relay.

It made me cry to see my luminary and my mom's lit up, but there was one luminary out of the hundreds that stopped me in my tracks.

It was in memory of an adorable little boy. On his decorated luminary was a photo of his shining sweet face, his name, and 2002-2005 written underneath.

He was only three.

He was only three.

Only three when cancer took his life.  The Smallest Angel now.

I am thinking about him tonight, and his family who I do not know.  I do know they miss him, each and every day, and a whole lot more during the holidays.

There have been moments when I thought I could not go any farther, could not do anymore, could not muster another ounce of bravery or hopefulness.  In that darkness, his sweet little face came to me like the striking of a match.  For a moment, because of him, I imagined my family walking the track for me, missing me every day, and a whole lot more during the holidays.

Of all the people and love and moments I am so grateful for on this night before Thanksgiving, I am most grateful to the Smallest Angel I found that night last summer, four months into chemo.

Thank you Precious Boy for your gifts to a stranger, reminding me life is fragile, every day is a gift, and how heartbroken those who love me would be if cancer stole my life from me.

I will make it a mission to find out your name, and send a letter to your Mama and family, to let them know in addition to all you were, you are still a light on my path.

Thank you Boy.  Your adorable face has been a recurring vision and reminder to love my life, and be deeply grateful every morning I wake up and get another chance to love and be loved.

I hope this message is delivered to you in heaven.  I will make sure your Mama hears it on earth.

Thank you, each and everyone, for all you have done to replenish the starlight in my pocket, and whisper "Keep going, we love you" when I thought I could do no more.

Thank you.

Wishing you a blessed Thanksgiving.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Sweet Lady ~
Happy, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. May today be "blessed" with precious moments!
Hugs and Kisses xoxox

PS~I'm very thankful for you!

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