Tuesday, November 2, 2010

How Bout Some Tang with Your Chicken Fried Steak?

The day after my surgery was all about "Can I go home now?"  I so wanted to be back in my own bed in my own room.  The Wizard had left it that we would see how I was doing before he'd decide if he wanted me to stay another night.

Did you know that bilateral mastectomy is considered outpatient surgery?

The morning after surgery was spent doing the usual during a hospital stay, checking vitals, checking my drains, getting me to the bathroom, waiting for the surgeon to arrive and make his determination.

Once Flash left the building, I was ready to go home too!  Most of the day was spent doing nothing, just waiting for the Wizard.

He arrived early afternoon, sometime before 2 p.m., and had already heard the message that I wanted to go home.  Dr. 6C had come earlier to check on me, assuming I'd like to stay another night.

"I'd like to go home."

"Oh, ok, well I guess that's ok, but we'll let your doctor decide."

The Wizard had already started preparing my discharge papers before he arrived.

The day was uneventful, we were able to leave late afternoon.  I finally got my wheel chair ride, through the hospital and out to the car.  Thank you Creative Lady for my little heart pillows, I did use them to protect against the seat belt, and I have used them at home to make myself comfortable on the couch.

There is not a whole lot to tell you about this week since surgery.  All the days have looked alike.  Not much sleep, living in four hour increments for the next vicodin, resting, getting up for awhile, getting back in bed, emptying my drains, not pooping, finally pooping, blah blah blah.

My spirits have been very good, despite how my chest looks and feels.  Under my left arm is tight, numb, and painful, depending on which inch of it you are on.  The numbness extends down my inner arm to my elbow.

Underneath my flat boobs it feels as if a very tight sharp rope has been cinched around the front from arm pit to arm pit.

I can't seem to find the sweet spot between enough vicodin and less pain but then too much dizziness and nausea, or trying to take less vicodin, being able to tolerate the mild nausea, then not able to tolerate the pain.  I have tended towards more pain in favor of less nausea but it's very uncomfortable.

My boobies are completely numb and feel like leather.  I've been trying to massage them a bit, which has helped some, but they are in bad shape and look like something on a cadaver.

The Wizard has checked in with me, and because the left drain was still consistently draining, he wants to wait till the end of the week or next week to take the drains out.  The right breast is hardly draining now.  Over the course of the week, the color of the draining fluid changed from Cabernet, to Rose, to Tequila Sunrise, to Tang.

No pathology results have come back yet.  I haven't been anxious about it.

I know I've done what I can do, and still have radiation ahead of me.  I'm just not worried about it.

I've done what I can do, and right now, keeping quite busy recovering.

When you are in pain or discomfort, everything else falls away.  Nothing else is important.

I haven't been teary or emotional at all.

I just want to feel better.

I want these drains out.  I want this surgical tape off.  I want to shower.  I want to sleep on my side, not sitting up.  I want the laces of this invisible cinched corset to loosen up.  I want to raise my arms.

I am six months in to this diagnosis.  All the time I had cancer, it never hurt or made me feel sick.

Treating it?

Are you people tryin to kill me?




Anonymous said...

Dear Sweet Lady ~

It's true ... the days just seem to slip away, nothing else matters ... when you are in such pain. Sending lots of love and healing energy your way. You are in my daily prayers.

Hugs and Kisses xoxox

Anonymous said...

Hi there,
I've only been following your blog a short time (first saw you on NOS) but I've gotten a ton of great info from you in that time along with one or two much needed belly-laughs. I'm 3 months into diagnosis so I'm sort of stumbling down the path behind you - but you are the trailblazer! You, yourself, are one of those angels you talked about. Best of luck in your recovery. And thank you for the infotainment. :-)

Beneath the Eaves said...

Hope you just take the time to heal. Ask about therapy for the mobility if does not improve. Glad the pillows help-just wish they were never needed. I hope they remind you I think of you and keep you (and your family) in my daily prayers.

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