Sunday, December 19, 2010


Most years we put up the tree and all the decorations the weekend after Thanksgiving.  Fall abruptly ends in our house, and it's Christmas dangit!

This year was different.

Husband has a new job, a promotion, and is working lots of hours.  Batman also works in retail and has been working late many evenings of the week.  Robin has band till 5pm three days a week, and by the time he eats dinner and finishes homework, he is one pooped puppy.

We were all too tired over Thanksgiving weekend, and both Husband and Batman worked.

We put our tree up a week ago, and as I've mentioned, I've been putting up decorations in the house a little bit each day.  I used to do this marathon thing, almost as if I twitched my nose like Bewitched, and all of it flew into place.  Bam!  Christmas!

I did just a few things each day, slowly and methodically, and something happened because of it.

It wasn't a blur.

I saw everything.  I held it in my hands and saw it and enjoyed it.

I got a kick out of the wreath as I hung it on the door; I made it a few years ago.  Most of what's on it is from my favorite thrift shop, all kinds of bears and birds and toys and pine cones and ribbon and beads.  A cable car hangs down from the center of it, a reminder of the days when Husband and I were yuppies and worked office jobs in San Francisco.

I set up our Christmas Village, which we call "Snow World."  Batman named it that when he was three.  In the middle of the village is a mirror that looks like a frozen pond, and we have a ceramic girl skater and a plastic skating Minnie Mouse we always place on the rink.  Every Christmas, they skate side by side.

I hung lots of glittered ball ornaments and sugared fruit from the chandelier in the family room, and when the light is on, sparkles fly, and that's not from my thighs rubbing together.

I placed the nativity scene in the living room, and turned the small light on.  It's very rustic looking, and old.  It looks real, and I wish I could shrink myself to crawl inside and sleep in the hay next to the lowing cattle.

Husband always puts the lights on the Christmas tree, and then all the boys, including him, have special ornaments they hang on the tree.  I hang the rest.  I enjoy it, setting the mood with Christmas music, candles flickering in the room, and the smell of Noble pine.

It was cold and gray and rainy today, ark weather.  I spent most of the day handwriting Christmas cards; I had lots of extra people on my list this year.  So many wonderful people, my doctors, nurses, friends and coworkers, and strangers who became friends, who all showed up to do their part for my cancer party.

So far, this little party has cost several thousand dollars, well into the six figures.

The givens are still that any day of the week cancer sucks, and I wish it never had to happen,  but as Christmas approaches, and I wind down treatment, the worst of it over, I'm feeling pretty lucky right about now.

I had to step outside in the cold, out the french doors onto the back patio and around to the side of the house to put some recycling out.  It was a mild drizzle, and I was in my zip up robe and slippers.  The pink chenille robe, remember Librarian?

I was just rounding the corner, near the path and roses, when the rain poured down on me.  It startled me, and then I stopped and closed my eyes with my face to the sky.

I cried as the rain cried with me.

I felt as if it was a baptism.

The last one I had was at age 13, submerged in the baptismal pool of the First Baptist Church; the strong hands of my pastor leaning me back and pulling me up out of the water, as the congregation looked on.

Today it was just me and God and the rain, and the only witnesses to my rebirth were goldfinches finding shelter in the towering climbing roses.

This was my cathedral.

Grace drenched me today.


Anonymous said...

God is so amazing, He always shows up to let us know, He Knows and loves and cares for us. That He will never leave or forsake us, that He will always walk the road with us. That's why He showed up on earth in a virgin birth just because He loves us that much. Thank you Jesus!!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Naniglenda

kim said...

What a beautiful post!! I have always loved the rain, and now with a little different view. Thank you. Merry Christmas to you and your guys!! Love you all.

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