Maybe the hokey pokey IS what it's all about.
I am making my way through the alphabet after the "C" word.
I developed a deep appreciation of the "F" word after it, especially when you combine the two. Effing Cancer.
Now in this next phase, I am beginning to understand the importance of the "E" word.
EXERCISE.
In this couple of weeks since completing treatment, I am learning the distinct difference between surviving and recovery. I survived my treatments; I am hopeful and confident that the cancer is gone. I never really understood until now how big the task of recovery FROM TREATMENT. First, if you're lucky and with a lot of courage, prayers and hard work, you survive the cancer. The job is not done when the treatment ends. Now I begin the challenging work to regain the areas of my health that were excellent, but became the collateral damage of treatment.
I couldn't wait to finish those nine long months. I see now I was missing the subtle hints along the way from The Good Witch and Dr. Lotus that RECOVERY will take as long, or longer, and will be slow and incremental. I get it now as I discover, the hard way, the balance between pushing, and pushing too hard. My brain and my body crave the release of a strenuous aerobic walk, and I feel so empowered tramping through my neighborhood and up the hill. The painful impact on my muscles, healing wounds, and feet is considerable; some nights I can't believe how many different areas of my body hurt.
I am going to switch up my routine for awhile to moderately paced walks on level ground, bypassing the hills. I've also found my local library a great resource for low impact exercise DVDs, like yoga, and you haven't lived baby until you've done this one:
http://www.amazon.com/Richard-Simmons-Silver-Foxes/dp/B0004Z32ME
Fun aside, the monumental challenge ain't over yet, and it's a party crasher when all I want to do is celebrate and resume my life.
It doesn't work like that. I've got a long way to go.
I remind myself to be grateful for the small wins every day, and thought of the Lao Tzu proverb The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Step. When what you long to do is run, or even better, fly.
I guess I need to skip ahead to the "P" word.
Patience.
2 comments:
I still have a hard time exercising as regularly as I'd like. I love yoga. It's very forgiving if you're low on energy, yet very challenging if it's a good day.
Keep trying, but also choose to give yourself permission to rest.
Oh yes, patience... I wrote a whole chapter on patience in my book.
Also wrote a whole chapter on persistence. That's you with your walking -- persistent. But don't forget the other "P" word -- pampering. Make sure you get lots of that too. Big hugs.
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