Today, I decorated the purple sage in my yard with some of my Cancer Center wrist bands, used to ID me during radiation. They bounced and bobbed when a breeze blew, animating the bush, and it made me smile seeing them this way.
Then I fed them into the shredder, one by one, each signifying a treatment completed and me letting it go.
Then I made stacks on my bed of:
papers I need to keep in my breast cancer medical file;
papers I can shred now; and
breast cancer treatment books I will donate.
I have a few pieces of clothing that have the "pink ribbon" on them.
I'm donating those too. I don't want them anymore.
About the only remnants of Cancer Camp I'm going to keep are all the cards from you. I keep those in a ribboned stack, and read through some of them again today.
Little by little I am letting go of the indications that represent cancer treatment.
I still don't know how to answer when someone asks me "Are you cancer free now?" Or "Are you in remission?"
I don't know.
All I know is I am changed, and still evolving, all of which I hope moves me towards becoming or remaining cancer free.
Cancer did not leave me where it found me.
I did all that,
and I ain't done yet.