Little by Little

I release anything and everything that no longer serves my unfolding good.

That quote is from a calendar page I kept and pinned to my bulletin board.

I'm starting the housecleaning with souvenirs from Cancer Camp.

Today, I decorated the purple sage in my yard with some of my Cancer Center wrist bands, used to ID me during radiation.   They bounced and bobbed when a breeze blew, animating the bush, and it made me smile seeing them this way.

Then I fed them into the shredder, one by one, each signifying a treatment completed and me letting it go.

Then I made stacks on my bed of:

papers I need to keep in my breast cancer medical file;
papers I can shred now; and
breast cancer treatment books I will donate.

I have a few pieces of clothing that have the "pink ribbon" on them.
I'm donating those too.  I don't want them anymore.

About the only remnants of Cancer Camp I'm going to keep are all the cards from you.  I keep those in a ribboned stack, and read through some of them again today.

Little by little I am letting go of the indications that represent cancer treatment.

I still don't know how to answer when someone asks me "Are you cancer free now?"  Or "Are you in remission?"

I don't know.

All I know is I am changed, and still evolving, all of which I hope moves me towards becoming or remaining cancer free.

Cancer did not leave me where it found me.

I did all that,

and I ain't done yet.