Dear Ms. Clay,
Our records indicate that based on your screening mammogram performed on April 7, 2010, it is time to schedule a routine screening mammogram. This is especially important because a personal history of breast cancer is sometimes associated with an increased risk of developing breast cancer.
Dear Medical Center,
My records and my flat chest indicate that I no longer have breasts. Thank you so much, I'll get right on that.
How bout this one, I really got a kick out of it. It was shared by my friend WagonWifeDesigns, after her best friend took a ride on the transvaginal railroad:
This girl can make anyone laugh about anything, especially when she is nervous. She had to go for the internal ultra sound and this is what she said to the tech when she was finished."Doesn't this mean you have to buy me dinner?
Damn. I wish I had thought of that. I will file it though for future use. Thank you Debra for sending it, and thank you Sue for saying it.
This next one also had me laughing out loud, from my friend M1 (hello MeShell my belle, a reply is forthcoming), forgive me for sharing this, but I HAD TO SISTER, IT WAS TOO DAMN FUNNY:
BTW, in hopes of making you smile, you inspired my husband to name my tits..... as a nod to your hilarious practice. He has dubbed them "perky and quirky". Quirky is the left one, since she is causing all this fuss right now. He said "quirky isn't a bad thing... it just means she's different, and since you are different, it's all good. But if she tries to kill you down the road, she's outta here... and if you come back BRCA positive... perky may have to join her if you are okay with that." I told him I'm okay with that. It will suck and I will cry and I will deal with the loss... and then we will replace them with bionic boobies. Robo-boobs. We have the technology (insert pictures of Lindsay Wagner jumping up on building roofs here)......
I cannot tell you how hard I laughed at this, and was deeply touched too! Well hello there Perky and Quirky, nice to meet you. I love love loved that!!!
Robo-boobs?!! That is freakin funny and I'm stealin that too. I pray and wish and hope that worse does not come to worse, but if it does honey, there's a T-shirt for that. It says:
Yes, these are fake. My real ones tried to kill me.
Life is funny, id-in-it?
I'd be crying my eyes out,
'cept I'm too busy laughing my ass off.
Does this post make my butt look smaller?