Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Silver Bejeweled Lining

There are moments, all along this journey, that are so startling you wanna lay down and give in, and you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and fake boobs in your bra, and keep going. You adapt. You show up for the life that is, and stop looking over your shoulder for the life that was.

I wrote that, you remember, from last night's blog.  Sometimes when I read back over something I've written, I feel satisfied.  Not like "Oh that was such great writing" but "You got it right, you said what you meant to say, and told what this feels like."

My Sister Jane Marie, with a heart as big as Texas, is going through one of those startling moments right now.  Her brown curly hair is coming out in big clumps, and soon she'll make the passage all of us do who go through chemo.  She sent me a text photo of her in the chemo chair, all hooked up, looking so sweet, and it made me cry.  She goes back again for round number two this Tuesday.  I am thinking about you tonight Girl; I remember how hard that was, losing my hair.  I'll walk you through it baby.  I'll be right here, sending you courage and strength and cheesecake.

Dear Reader, may I tell you again about this Sister thing?  It has changed my life.  I have a safety net now that is wide and strong, and bi coastal too.  It makes every difference on this journey knowing my Sisters are out there and I am part of something really big and meaningful.  There are the Sisters who are ahead of me, who keep checking that I am following, like Jill, and Irish BC Warrior, and Gloria.  They cheer for me, give me booster shots of courage, pat and whisper to me, they know this journey well.  They reassured me that soon enough all of this hard hard work will be done, and I will rebuild and regroup and take cancer off the table, and put it up in the cupboard.

I happily do my best to give the same to the Sisters behind me, reassuring and encouraging, gently reminding that this too shall pass.

This is an area of my life, lack of sisters and girlfriends, that has always been a void for me.  We moved around a lot as I grew up, and many years I was the new girl.  I never thought that at this stage in my life, I would have the joy and comfort of so many wonderful and interesting women in my life.

It is like sipping the sweetest, most refreshing nectar, and I am a little hummingbird, with a heart shaped uterus, enjoying every drop.
Ain't nuttin like it, this Sisterhood of the Cancerous Breasts.  For all the times the diagnosis and the challenges, the glitches and the heartache of this cancer gig made me feel cursed, oh how rich and glorious a blessing all these women I continue to meet and love on this path.
and who love me back.
Nighty night Sistahs. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, today it was my new "do-rag" and cheesecake!! Love ya for loving me!!

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