Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Wine Key? Check. Crumber? Check. Fake Boobs? Check.

I have two big milestones this week.

Tomorrow night is my first night back at work.  Other than a short return during chemo, which was only a few shifts before neuropathy set in, my last night was May 1st of last year.  The following week I had surgery to install my port, and I started chemo.

I'm excited and anxious about my return.  It will be great to resume the rhythm of work again, and I'm looking forward to being with all my peeps.  I know though it will be an adjustment, and some of it I can anticipate, and most of it I'll find out as I go.  I'm not returning as the person I was when I left, in more ways than just the physical.

My Sister Tmack started a great email discussion with me, all about work after cancer treatment, and we each weighed in on what we'd need to work through as part of the return.

I think these are the primary concerns for me: my physical appearance; my stamina and balance; returning to the fold of my coworkers when I feel like a changed person; and loss of seniority at work.  I'm so happy and grateful to be returning to my job, but I know there will be some big adjustments ahead.

It's a year later.
Life there went on without me.
I'm coming home, and yet it feels like I've been a soldier off to war, and now I'm returning from the front line and will have to fit in with a bunch of civilians who've never seen the shit I've seen.

Speaking of the war, my other milestone is this Thursday, April 21st.  It's one year since my diagnosis.  Seems like yesterday when the Good Witch, at our first meeting, told me to expect that my cancer treatment would take the next year of my life.

"Are you crazy Lady?" I thought to myself.  Surely she must be exaggerating.

Now here I am, just shy of the one year mark, and she pretty much nailed it.

My neighbor says to me the other day "Hey, how you doin?  Did you beat it?" {Add this to the well intentioned but stupid ass things you should never say to somebody who's had cancer.}

I'll get back to you on that Mister, but I'll tell you one thing.
I survived cancer treatment.
I beat that.

Thanks for comin along, dearest Reader,
like starlight in my pocket.

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