regret

I was just finishing up my last table and doing side work.  I stepped out for a moment to use the restroom.  There is a public restroom for hotel guests and the other tenants, including the restaurant where I work, at the back of the building and just outside our lovely patio.

As I walked in I saw her black work shoes and black pants in the stall next to mine.  She was having a conversation on her cell.

Yeah, I had my second chemo infusion today.  I'm ok.  No, they don't know about it at my job.  Yes.  I miss you too.  I'm ok...

My heart sank.  My heart started pounding.  I could hear the fear and sadness in her voice.  I knew she was not ok.  How many times have I told that lie?

I washed my hands and waited for her to come out.  I wanted to tell her so many things.

Keep going.
You can do this.
You will get through this.
Here is my phone number.
Come visit my blog.
I'm a Sister too.

Mostly, I wanted to hug her.  She sounded so young.  I waited at the mirror.  I waited.  She did not come out.  It was awkward, I didn't want to interrupt.  I needed to get back to work.

I assume she works for the hotel or a neighboring restaurant.  I don't know who she is.  I don't know if I will ever know.

She haunts me today.
I am filled with regret.