Monday, August 29, 2011


My thoughts keep drifting back to the wedding.  Midge's wedding.

I can see her sitting in the makeup chair in her lovely room, looking absolutely petrified and beautiful, like a painting.  I knew I must do something radical to take her mind off that long long walk down the aisle.  So I flashed her.  Showed her my flat little deflated boobies.  A Maid of Honor's got to do what a Maid of Honor's got to do.  It's all for the cause Baby.

I can see her shimmy-ing her dress up over no show panties and getting into her backless plunging bra, and Bridesmaid and I, we helped her, and she looked like a dream, all floating and flowing in creamy satin, with a huge satin bow at the small of her back, and lips painted the deepest rose red I have ever seen.

I remember waiting at the front of the church, waiting to walk down the aisle just ahead of her, seeing her grab her father's arm, and hold on as tight as she could, as if she was going to walk into the eye of a storm.

I remember the way the Groom looked saying his vows, the sweet and earnest and committed look on his face, and I believed his every word.  I will remind her of this some day when she is really angry at him and has her suitcase on the bed, ready to pack.

Flashbacks of her red lips, red bouquet and red shoes under her ivory wedding dress.
The sweetest flower girl, dropping rose petals in the aisle.
Vows exchanged in a white steeple church, and thinking about the one I have worn out - "In Sickness and In Health."
Heartfelt toasts made by candlelight.
Bubbles sparkling in a fluted glass.
A red velvet wedding cake.
Many booty pats from Groom to Bride on the dance floor.

At the ripe old age of Fiddy Two, I was a Maid of Honor for the very first time, thanks to Midge.  It is some job I will tell you, and just before the wedding, a good Maid of Honor, I have decided, is part blankie, and mostly Security Detail and Bouncer.  "Out" I say, "All of you, Out Out, let us have our moment with the Bride and let the Bride catch her breath" and then I locked the door.  The three of us, Bride, Bridesmaid and I, held hands in our little chamber, and I said a prayer out loud for the Bride, and many more she did not hear, just triple checking God was near.

I have decided that Maid of Honor is a lifetime commitment, and must include whenever circumstances demand, reminding Bride of all the love and promises made on aforementioned wedding day.  I will remind her whenever she needs reminding.  It is my sacred duty to stand guard over all that love, knowing what I know, twenty five years into my own marriage.

There were so many incredible breathless magical moments at this wedding, when families were joined and healed all because two people fell in love.  Ahhhhh, there is nothing quite like witnessing up close all the love and tenderness and joy and giggly bliss of a Bride and a Groom.

My favorite moment though was not what you might expect.

It was of the Groom's Mama, my friend, Desertpirate, who just finished chemo for ovarian cancer, and believe me, it has been a hard hard road for her these last several months in treatment.  Yet there she was, just a day after her last infusion and a transfusion, kicking up her heels at the party.  I laughed my ass off when she changed her wigs throughout the evening.  I choked up later, when most of the guests were on their way home, watching as she changed into cowgirl boots, and was line dancing on an empty dance floor while the DJ played Taylor Swift.

I will never forget that image of her on the dance floor, with every step, present in her love of her life and her family.  I don't know why this Lady keeps thanking me when she is the one who inspires me beyond all measure.  As I watched her, I thought of the prayer I have said so many times "Lord help me love the life that is sent to me."  My friend is a shining example of that, and it forever changed me watching her take a huge delicious bite out of her life that night, despite everything.  Lady, you rock.

Dear Cancerless Reader,
You think you got troubles?  I'll show you trouble Honey.
You got heartbreak?  I'll show you heartbreak.
I don't want to hear it.

Love the life that is sent to you.
Laugh louder than the cryin.
Dance on your troubles.
and when you are called to rise,

Rise Baby.

I need me some cowgirl boots.  Gonna get some.  Dance on my troubles.  Breathless.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.  author unknown


Anonymous said...

You described Kelli so eloquently. The mood of the ceremony. And Erik. And then you made me cry and cry and cry. I love you, Deb. Yeah, the dancing was important to me. Erik said "It takes more than cancer to make you stop line dancing". It did me so much good to make him proud of me. I was just really feeling the love. Tired now. Really tired. But God gave me the energy for that long day and into the night. Prayers were answered. Dance on your troubles. Another perfectly coined phrase by my dear debbie.

Anonymous said...

Keep dancing. Keep writing. Keep touching us all......

I'm still here - Faith & Hope

writergirldreams said...

Lady, you cry like a baby at all my stuff, and I love love love that about you, and furthermore I like it when you say that, my dear Debbie, I think the world would be a better place if every now and then, someone called us dear.

Faith&Hope, I would expect nothing less from the President of my Secret Fan Club. Thank you. very much.

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